Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Hotness and Goodness!

A few breezy paragraphs from now, we'll unveil the latest delectable Hebraic entry in our ultra-of-the-moment "Profiles in Hotness." But before we do that, we want to talk about goats.

Well, about one goat, actually, because it's the one that your Very Hot Jews co-sponsored (with Editorial Emergency) at a recent benefit for the ultra-wonderful nonprofit organization Heifer International.

Jenna Perlstein, a sexy dynamo who reveals all in the Q&A below, is doing a marvelous job of spreading the word about this phenomenal org, which enables regular folks like us to pay to send livestock to needy families both in the developing world and urban and rural areas of the U.S.

Unlike many other aid organizations, Heifer helps guide people to self-sufficiency rather than merely handing over one-time gifts. A goat, heifer, llama or other animal can make an incredible difference. What's more, the recipients pledge that once said animal has offspring, they will "pass on the gift" to another needy family. In other words, Heifer not only helps people who've been trapped in a cycle of poverty but creates sustainable self-reliance.

Whether you're a Jew or not, you'll find that making a contribution to Heifer is truly a mitzvah. Just go here, click your mouse a few times and be a force for good.

And Jenna? She lent her PR skills to a fabulous recent event at Zanzibar in Santa Monica, where musicians from around the world, INCREDIBLE food (Mama's Tamales will change your life) and an overall joie de vivre signaled that this was no ordinary charity confab — it was a life-affirming, world-embracing party. Yet for all the various stimuli, we couldn't help but gravitate to this spectacularly hot Jewess. And not just because of her luscious lips and divine d├ęcolletage. But best to let her introduce herself in her own words.

We're proud to present the dishy Jenna.

Profiles in Hotness: Jenna Perlstein

Were you always a Hot Jew, or did you go through an awkward phase/convert?

Hmm. I’m not sure how others saw me, but in my mind’s eye, I wasn’t always a Hot Jew. I would have to say that my Hotness emerged in college and has been heating up ever since. By now, though, I’m pretty damn hot!

When others praise your hotness, what particular attribute do they most often talk about?

Typically the praise starts with either my rack or my hiney (thank you to J.Lo for standing up for us pygobombes, and to Joe’s Jeans for giving us a fine denim showcase). Once they get to know me better, I believe that wit and charm enter the picture.

What do you believe is the key to your hotness?

Aside from my T & A? I care. I listen. I get involved strategically. I invest energy and enthusiasm, my voice and funds (when possible) into situations I care about, and away from things I think are destructive. I think the key to my hotness is directed energy. I could be wrong though. It might just be the T & A.

Did you have a bat mitzvah? If so, what did you wear? What was the most embarrassing thing about it?

HA! Did I ever! I decided that I WOULD have a bat mitzvah, in spite of the fact that my family was not temple-affiliated. My parents kindly assisted me in my search for Jewish education, but only Chabad would take me without my family. I went through three-plus years of Jewish education at Chabad House in Santa Monica, terrifying them with ceaseless questions.

My mom decreed that since I had gone through an ultra-Orthodox educational program, I would conclude with a bat mitzvah in the same mode. I had a gender-segregated service and party, and a Klezmer band. I did have a nice dress, though. It was a square-necked, ivory lace dress over a matching slip. I still have the dress.

The whole service was embarrassing for me. I was painfully shy about speaking in front of groups, and I think I was scarlet and stammering throughout.

What kind of Jew are you, besides hot? Are you observant, just unusually witty and smart, or other? Please explain.

I am ethnically Jewish. I have always known that, practicing or not, when they come for us, I’m on the list. When push comes to shove, I’m in.

If I go to a synagogue, I prefer a Conservative service. Mainly, though, I believe in the culture of it, and in the underlying reasons for many of the rules, Commandments, etc.

Who is your favorite Hot Jew, besides us?

Right now, you guys are my favorite Hot Jews. Who else? My friend, Seth Levy, is a terrifically Hot Jew — a mensch extraordinaire. Also Danny and Lesley Wolf, both super-hot, and rising comedic star Andrew Goldenberg.

Have you ever experienced antisemitism? If so, what was your very hot response?

It’s not mine to claim, but when I was in junior high, we were on a school field trip and a man at Grand Central Market told my friend Marla Mandel that she looked “very Jewish”. I froze, but she looked him straight in the eye and said, “Thank you!” I was so proud of her! I remember her 12-year-old's moxie and conviction whenever I have an insecure moment.

Was your family observant?

We were not. We did the big holidays. My mom has since converted away, so I do a lot of the cooking now.

How would you describe your religious or spiritual feelings, if any?

Sometimes I’m sure there’s Divine intervention. Mostly I’m still working it all out.

Do you think your (hot) Jewishness played a role in your career path?

Well, my careers involve prudent application of money and words, so some might say it has.

How frequently do you pepper your speech and/or writing with Yiddishisms?


Do you have children? If so, what specifically Jewish neuroses are you helping them cultivate?

Presently I have no children, but I can foresee that much craziness will be bred into my eventual offspring.

Give us a hint about your most secret Hot Jew Fantasy.

I might enjoy having my hair brushed and delicious snacks fed to me in a certain scenario. I’ll have to finish this glass of wine before I’m really ready to dish the goods.


Thelma de la Cola said...

Do you guys ever take requests for your Profiles in Hotness?

Because Ira Glass is among the hottest of the hot, in my book...

s. said...

Oooh, I heartily concur that Jenna is one very hot lady - Jew or otherwise!